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Don’t you just love how some things are named?
Like the Federal Reserve System, for instance. It’s a central bank that was conceived in the private study of a private hunting lodge on a private island by a bunch of private bankers who didn’t want to use the word “bank” in its name to fool taxpayers who thought it was a “system” to safeguard the public… from the very bankers who conceived it.
I don’t know about you, but the feeling of safety I have is just overwhelming… NOT.
Then there’s the Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC). That’s a committee of top plotters that meets in private to discuss what’s going on in “free” markets so they can figure out how to manipulate them.
The Open Market Committee, or the Old Boys Club (they have a woman on the committee, but she’s just a token “dove” who plays “Follow the Beard”), meets today and Wednesday to check on how their manipulations have stopped unruly free markets from sinking the banks that secretly run the Fed (you know it’s not a secret, but there are a whole lot of taxpayers who don’t).
For some time now, far too long in fact, the Federal Open Market Committee has been buying a smallish $85 billion a month of various types of bonds to save the world and their masters.
They’re buying $45 billion a month of government bonds to save the government from having to tax taxpayers to pay for government waste. And they’re buying $40 billion a month of mortgage-backed securities (because they’re so safety-minded they’re only buying “agency-backed” mortgage bonds. Agency-backed? That means taxpayer-backed, which is why they’re supposedly safe).
Who are they buying all those bonds from? Go on, take a guess…
Duh… the banks!
You see, in an open market where banks can do what they want, they can get in trouble (they own a lot of MBS stuff that’s been sucking wind, which the Fed is kindly taking off their hands until it bounces back) because they are greedy you-know-whats. You wouldn’t understand unless you’ve ever been caught in quicksand. But, because it’s an open market, thank goodness, there’s an Open Market Committee to throw them a rope (too bad it never lands around their necks, but whatever).
The job of the Open Market Committee is, as you have figured out by now, to manipulate open markets for the benefit of banks.
They tell us they’re doing it to benefit the economy (which they helped to sink… don’t you just love free markets?). They tell us they are buying bonds from banks to boost their bottom lines so they can knock down the unemployment rate.
What they are doing is manipulating open markets for the benefit of banks. Got it?
But, I digress.
The Federal Open Market Committee meets today and Wednesday. On Wednesday afternoon at 2:00 we get to hear what they want us to hear. And at 2:30, Bernanke talks to reporters to answer questions about how well the manipulation is going.
The Dow’s up triple digits today (good thing there’s no volatility in this market) on account of the latest speculation that because the market was down triple digits on Friday, the Fed is going to look at recent volatility and come out saying something that’s supposed to calm volatile markets.
Don’t be confused… even though you’re supposed to be confused.
It will all be cleared up on Wednesday afternoon when the private deliberations of the Open Market Committee will be revealed.
There’s nothing I love better than free markets! God Bless you, Adam Smith and “The Creature From Jekyll Island.”
For more on how the Fed came to be the market manipulation machine it is today, check out: Do We Really Need the Federal Reserve System?
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