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The Corzine Carol – Updated!

So we have new facts that have come to light in the Jon Corzine / MF Global scandal.

After a day of Senate “I don’t know / I didn’t intend” testimony (or should we call it “intendimony?”) we learn that an auditor for CME learned that Corzine knew of customer funds being used to collateralize MF Global’s bets.

Liquidity moves markets!

Follow the money. Find the profits! 

Well these new facts generated an alteration to Corzine-speak according to this breaking story from Reuters.

So, forthwith, I hereby amend the Corzine Christmas Carol – new verse at end in bold.

Again, this is Jon Corzine’s testimony as a Carol – save you and friends the time and mind numbing self degradation required to read the transcripts in full.

(Sung to “God rest ye merry gentlemen”)

I guess you clever gentlemen
Are wondering what I’ll say.
Will I cite the 5th amendment
Or did I come to play?
Well I will tell you everything
On this December day.

You see, I don’t remember anything
Remember a thing
I just don’t seem to remember anything

Now clients gave us money
to invest in stocks and bonds
And some of it bought the services
of teenage Russian blonds
But that stuffs kinda normal
and isn’t really wrong

You see, I don’t remember anything
Remember a thing
I just don’t seem to remember anything

Hypothecated leverage
Are words that I don’t know
Even though at Goldman
It floated our IPO
But now its all so hard for me
as the MF CEO

You see, I don’t remember anything
Remember a thing
I just don’t seem to remember anything

So you see that I’m not guilty
That’s what I represent
Doing stuff illegally
Was never my intent
I simply meant to tweak the law
So suckers would get bent

You see, I don’t remember a thing
Remember a thing
I just don’t seem to remember anything

So now I see my state -a- ments
may need a change of state
An auditor for CME
Says I rehypothecate
Well that may be true, I just don’t know
But let’s get one thing straight

I never intended to intend
never intend
No I never intended to intend.

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