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The Pushers

In another of our series of The Best of, Stoolie “shorty” relates a telling tale of a brief encounter with a representative of Bank of America:

I called Bank of America with a simple question and they put some frantic shyster on the line and he tried to push out a maSSive chunk of fresh new $caSSh to me, unsolicited

what the heck is goin’ on?

I tell ’em I don’t want to borrow no money, they say Sir you aren’t borrowing it we’re just depositing it into your checking account you can do whatever you want with it, so can I go ahead and make the deposit now can I can I can I

the whole world has gone nuts

all I can figger is the Fed is pressurin’ banks to push out money for some reason

it’s bizarre

he said 1.9% and I said no thanks then he said OK 1.0%

I thought I was in the twilight zone, but I’m a durn polite fellar, didn’t wanna cut him off so he worked himself into quite a frenzy

now that I think about it I shoulda said OK how bout you pay me 1% then I’ll take it! laugh.gif

Maybe I’m paranoid but I’m afraid to go outside anymore, afraid of walking into a Monty Python episode or something, if I go to get donuts is somebuddy gonna jump outta the men’s room and start tryin’ to shove stacks of $100 bills in my coat pocket?

I’m tellin’ ya, sumpthin funny is goin’ on out there in the eCONomy

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