Off The Wall

Offbeat stories, not necessarily true. :D

Are Apple Bagholders Gluttons For Punishment – New York Tomes

By
May 8, 2012
Are Apple Bagholders Gluttons For Punishment – New York Tomes

This exclusive just in from Shorty over at Capitalstool.com.      
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The Corzine Carol – Updated!

By
December 13, 2011

So we have new facts that have come to light in the Jon Corzine / MF Global scandal. After a day of Senate “I don’t know / I didn’t intend” testimony (or should we call it “intendimony?”) we learn that an auditor for CME learned that Corzine knew of customer funds being used to...
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When America Goes Broke

By
February 14, 2011

By Jimbo When America goes broke, national icons will have to be sold off to pay the bill. This is the likely scenario: 1/ Naming rights for the statue of Liberty will be sold. They will be bought by the News corporation and the statue will be renamed the Fox News Statue of Liberty...
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CNBC House of Horrors

By
November 3, 2010
CNBC House of Horrors

Thanks to Trader Joe.
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Goldman’s Earnings Down On Security Costs

By
December 1, 2009

by Jorma Dec. 1- (The Stool Pigeons Wire) Shares of Goldman Sachs fell this morning on the announcement that its earnings will fall significantly due to expenses related to providing security for its partners and facilities. A $20 billion dollar contract with Homeland Security will be administered by Xe, formerly Blackwater, who will provide...
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CNBC Today

By
October 30, 2009
CNBC Today

Phatbubble- The Stool Pigeons Wire
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The Pissanti Report

By
October 6, 2009
The Pissanti Report

By Ags Nightmare Oct. 6 (Stool Pigeons Wire) ” Folks…the bulls can do no wrong…Australia cut rates!!! ( yep he said that )….. just look at Mosaic…they missed by a country mile…sales down, revenues putrid, earnings non existent….but they said things will get better and it’s up huge pre market…everyone is celebrating the demise...
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Pissanti Mid Day Market Update

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September 25, 2009
Pissanti Mid Day Market Update

by Ags Nightmare Sept. 25 (Stool Pigeons Wire)– ” I tell ya folks….bears just can’t get more than a 1 % pullback…and when they do ?…Where is the volume ?!!!….low volumes selloffs..thats not bearish folks”….” Just makes the bulls case stronger…just look at the airlines today folks…that’s all you need to see that the...
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Bob Pissanti Reporting From The NYSE

By
August 27, 2009
Bob Pissanti Reporting From The NYSE

Here’s the view from Jetlag at Capitalstool.coms’ Stool Pigeons Wire.
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Whom Do You Trust?

By
April 14, 2009
Whom Do You Trust?

Would you trust this man with your money?
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Bank of America to take over GM at request of US government

By
March 30, 2009

by Trader Joe Charlotte, NC (Stool Pigeons Wire) – Bank of America will take over GM at request of the US government. When asked, Ken Lewis, CEO of Bank of America stated, “We think that GM will be a good strategic fit for Bank of America. Along with our forced acquisitions of Countrywide and...
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Two Views of Geithner

By
February 11, 2009
Two Views of Geithner

Washington DC (Stool Pigeons Wire) – Analyst Pit Privy presents two view of Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, and lessons learned from the 90s.
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Citicorpse Uses Tarp To Expand Lending… In AUSTRALIA!

By
February 11, 2009
Citicorpse Uses Tarp To Expand Lending… In AUSTRALIA!

Here’s another piece that was exclusively reported this morning on The Stool Pigeons Wire by reporter Al Ceringa. In commemoration of the US$3 Trillion of new debt that is being shoved down the throats of the American Taxpayers in the last 48 hours, we the residents of Australia would like to thank all American...
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Analcyst- Wall Street Thumbs Down On Bailout

By
February 11, 2009

Anacyst Prtzl Logic of The Stool Pigeons Wire wrote this interpretation of a headline piece over on CNN Money this morning.  It is so profound that I had to share it with readers of The Wall Street Examiner. Many tanks to Pretzl Logic for sharing with us. The Dow Jones industrial average (INDU) lost...
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Listen to Ben Stein aka BS

By
July 28, 2008

As snipped from Faux News, August 2007.
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Standard and Poors Introduces New Corporate Logo

By
February 25, 2008
Standard and Poors Introduces New Corporate Logo

Thanks to Jetlag at Capitalstool.com’s Stool Pigeons Wires for reporting.
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BULLETIN- Wire Service Reports Gates, Buffet To Form Ratings Agency

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February 25, 2008
BULLETIN- Wire Service Reports Gates, Buffet To Form Ratings Agency

BULLETIN - (Capitalstool.com’s Stool Pigeons News Wires) Warren Buffet and Bill Gates to form new rating agency. They will offer new rating of AAAA and insurance on “AAAA” bonds. that is all. Stoolie Speakeasy reported this story.
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Simplified Mrotgouge Closing Paperwork Proposed

By
February 19, 2008

The new forms would provide for an additional signature right below the first one where the borrower signs to acknowledge reading and understanding all of the fine print, and promises to honor all of the terms for repaying the debt.
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Delinquent Homoaner Defaults on Mrotgouge; Wipes Out His Own CDO

By
February 17, 2008

Two years ago when Jimmy Doofman purchased his new De La La Estates home at 1419 Blasienna Circle for $500,000 he felt sure it would appreciate quickly, enabling him to flip it for a nice profit. He wasn’t worried when neighbors began complaining about the slow ream estate market, because he didn’t have to sell;...
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MaSSive Wealth Creation and Joy from Housing Dip

By
February 15, 2008

Some U.S. Americans are racking up tremendous profits from the minor dippy-doo in house prices. Others are enjoying a return to a happier, simpler lifestyle.
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13% Yield Plus Silver Pop

By
February 15, 2008

I scared. I know silver ‘N’ gold goin’ ta the moon. Butt I don’t wanna git burned jumpin’ in right here on none these bargain miners. Like CDE. Dirt cheap butt scary.
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Moody’s Places Itself on Negative Watch

By
January 24, 2008

This just in from the Stool Pigeons Wire at Capitalstool.com: Washington – Moody’s the ratings agency, has placed itself on negative watch, citing its horrendous track record at rating just about everything except t-bills. “We suck. We couldn’t spot an investment-grade bond in a box of Confederacy Debentures or Continental Bank CD’s.”said one source...
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Tax Cut Thought For The Day

By
January 19, 2008

The idea that all the tax cut spending at Walmart will just go back to China is a fun rhetorical device, but the truth is that the actual selling price of the good to the retailer is only a fraction of the final sale price. Most of the money will stay right here in...
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Countrywide Responds To Rumors

By
November 28, 2007
Countrywide Responds To Rumors

The LA Times reported today: Countrywide Financial Corp. moved to reassure investors Tuesday that it wasn’t borrowing too much and wouldn’t be constrained in its ability to provide home loans. “We said it back in August, we said it in September, we said it last week, we’ll say it until we turn blue in...
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Top New Hires Demand Put Options

By
November 10, 2007

This just in from tech insider Shorty over at Capitalstool.com: Top New Hires at Google Demand Put Options as Part of Compensation “Hey, it doesn’t take a genius to see which way this thing is going,” said senior enginerd Venkatapraksubravaidya Srinavivajijupumanianski. “In order to be fairly compensated for my skills, the standard old stock...
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Jackasses

By
October 24, 2007

Can you identify the jackasses in this Faux News report broadcast on August 18? Hint- Merrill Lynch coughed up an $8 billion dollar loss today.
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How Today’s Rate Decision Was Made

By
September 18, 2007
How Today’s Rate Decision Was Made

One of our undercover reporters uncovers the machinations behind today’s decision.
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iPhones Get Jobbed, Senator Proposes Bailout

By
September 5, 2007

NY- Gloomberg News Service- Steve Jobs announced that the price on the iPhone is being cut by one third. Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) proposed bailout legislation for original iPhone buyers. Would be buyers who were priced out of the market have decided to wait for lower prices rather than jump in to the market...
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Helo Ben’s Morning

By
August 11, 2007
Helo Ben’s Morning

Click image to view full size.
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